Author Archive for tanner

Hollywood Officially Out of Horror Movies to Remake

Published by tanner on April 10, 2008 in Film and WTF?. 1 Comment

Prom Night

Being Mission Freak’s resident horror movie guru (sorry Dre), it’s been hard to hold this back - but hey, it’s been weeks since I ranted about something! With tomorrow’s release of new destined-to-suck “Prom Night” remake, I think Hollywood has hit the wall. Is nothing sacred? Must we bastardize every classic? The answer from Tinseltown is YE$$$$$$$$$! I suppose after remakes “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “Halloween”, I shouldn’t be surprised - and I’m not…I’m just pissed off a little bit! At least they haven’t touched “Susperia” - Wait, the rumor is that it’s in production. Dammit! The good news is now that there’s nothing left to remake from the 70’s and 80’s, writers might have to start coming up with original ideas again. I’m just glad they haven’t gone after the scariest movie ever…..sonofabitch

Somebody let me know when “Candyman” goes into production. Oh, and if Tony Todd isn’t starring, put me out of my misery.

Band of Horsepower: Indie Rock Sells Cars

Published by tanner on March 26, 2008 in WTF? and TV. 2 Comments

Ford EdgeLet me start this post by stating the obvious. This winter has sucked. Specifically, it has sucked the marrow from my bones and left a slushy trail of S.A.D. in its wake. The winter has also left roughly 32.73 inches of permafrost on the roads of Iowa City, damaging the streets and also the fragile suspension of my 1992 Lincoln Continental. As I wave goodbye to my antique auto and look ahead to purchasing a new car, I find myself asking, “What type of car will I buy?” Before my A.D.D. riddled brain can even begin to confront this query, another question pops up. What indie rock makes me want to a buy a new car? What? You don’t think about things like this? Every since I saw “The Funeral” featured in the new Ford commercial, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into this. After much deliberation, here is my list of the next five indie gems to be placed into the automotive marketing scheme (with sales pitches in parentheses).

1. Evangelicals - “Bloodstream” - (The new Honda Civic will become a part of you. You can feel it cruising through your bloodstream.)

Kinda makes you wonder why Grandaddy didn’t sell cars. Wait, didn’t “Crystal Lake” come with Windows XP? At least their talents weren’t totally wasted on mainstream consumerism.


Download: Evangelicals - Bloodstream (The Evening Descends, 2008)

2. Rilo Kiley - “The Moneymaker” (The new Lexus will let everyone know that you are the moneymaker.)

Nevermind that just a few years ago they were an actual band. That does not matter. Now, Rilo Kiley sells things, including their music, cars, and… their souls. NOTE: As I write this, this song is the background music for a new FX show or something like that. I hope the show features RK as the actors - because God knows their performances in “Troop Beverly Hills” and “Salute your Shorts” far outweighs their music at this point.


Download: Rilo Kiley - The Moneymaker (Under the Blacklight, 2007)

3. Headlights - “Cherry Tulips” (Ahh, the 2008 VW Bug. Things are good.)

Could Erin Fein sell me anything? Yes, anything. Including cars.


Download: Headlights - Cherry Tulips (Some Racing, Some Stopping, 2008)

4. Spoon - “The Underdog” (The 2008 Kia Spectra is here. The underdog has arrived.)

I feel like this already happened. Really? This hasn’t already happened?


Download: Spoon - The Underdog (Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga, 2007)

5. Evangelicals - “Skeleton Man” (Feel like you’re missing something? Let the new Chevrolet Aveo complete you.)

Yes, they made the list once already, but who cares? This whole album could be licensed to GM. Not that they should, but…we’re just sayin’. Don’t get any ideas, guys.


Download: Evangelicals - Skeleton Man (The Evening Descends, 2008)

WTF: Safety Lessons, with Hootie!

Published by tanner on February 6, 2008 in WTF?. 0 Comments

Ahh, a snow day! This term may be lost for those of you with “real” jobs, but 3/5 of us here at the Freak work for the school district! Put your visions of a Mission Freak snowball fight on hold though, there are more important things to discuss on a glacial day such as this. What could be more important you ask? How about safety? That’s right, safety. Specifically while crossing the street. With cars sliding here and there, it’s important that we all remember that the buddy system is not just for sorority girls and pre-school field trips. Here to give us the lowdown is your favorite band from your preteen years (excluding Andre). Click Elmo to continue!

Elmo!

Freakin’ Weekend: 1.31-2.02

Published by tanner on January 31, 2008 in Theatre, Weekend and Concert. 0 Comments

nullWith this week’s primaries over and the ranks officially thinned, we’ve got our sights set squarely on next Tuesday, aka Super Tuesday, after which we should have a better idea of who will next be in charge of our great nation. Iowa’s 15 minutes are officially up, but we still can’t help being enthralled by the venom-slinging that’s taking place on the Democratic side of things, but would like to remind everyone that it isn’t always good to burn your bridges. Oh, well. At least we haven’t seen any Jerry Springer-style fisticuffs. Yet. Here’s wishing you a peaceful weekend.

Thursday
Sarah Cram and the Derelicts / The Picador – 9pm - $5
The Diplomettes, as you probably know, are the sexy complement to the Diplomats of Solid Sound. You may not realize that Diplomette Sarah Cram does plenty musically in her own right, and amongst her projects are the Derelicts. Hit up the Picador on Thursday to start the weekend proper. Samuel Locke-Ward and the Awful Purdies open.

Friday
Riff Raff Theater Presents Speed / The Englert – 8pm - $10
Following in the footsteps of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (possibly the best show ever), Riff Raff Theater is going to perform a “riff” of the Keanu Reeves…strike that, Dennis Hopper thriller, Speed. Their website says the show will include audience participation and skits…but somehow we still don’t know what to expect. Make sure you see this, otherwise it won’t make any sense to you when they do a riff of Speed 2: Cruise Control.

Saturday
Mission Creek Presents Andre Perry, Caleb Engstrom, and Matthew Wright at The Redhead (Solon) – 9pm
This is the first of our new series of Saturday shows at The Redhead Cafe. It’s a great opportunity to see great artists in a super intimate setting, all while grubbing on some sweet potato fries. Besides, when was the last time you chilled in Solon? Chances are the answer is never. Come out this Saturday to see where you will be spending the first Saturday of every month from now on. Andre Perry (of the Lonelyhearts), Freak fave and Mission Creek vet Caleb Engstrom, and local heartthrob Matthew Wright will be performing.

Preview: Katie Berlin Turnpike [Review: Rock Band]

Published by tanner on December 3, 2007 in WTF? and TV. Closed

For Immediate Release: Katie Berlin Turnpike Announces World Tour!

Ok, you might not recognize the name, but Katie Berlin Turnpike is blowing up. Formed just a few weeks ago in San Francisco, the band has already trekked around the country, amassing legions of fans in almost every major city from New York to Los Angeles. And here’s the kicker: KBT is a cover band! Excuse me, did you say “cover band”?

The story is true. Well, kind of. The meteoric rise of the KBT happens to be based in a virtual world of decadence courtesy of the superb new video game, Rock Band, the next in a long line of digital distractions consuming the lives of Mission Freak’s resident gaming heads (Scott & Tanner).

Those familiar with the Guitar Hero series will quickly grasp the ins and outs of playing Rock Band: when red square crosses yellow line, hit red button on guitar. Repeat as needed with any variation of ROYGBIV. What makes Rock Band different is that guitar is only one-quarter of the equation. With the addition of drums, bass, and vocals, wannabe John Bonhams, John Paul-Joness, and Robert Plants now have the opportunity to prove their skills alongside Jimmy Page on the virtual stage.
Continue reading ‘Preview: Katie Berlin Turnpike [Review: Rock Band]’

Monday Night Football Theme Song Band: Too Much Talent?

Published by tanner on October 22, 2007 in WTF? and TV. 2 Comments

Are you ready for the most expensive 90 second ever?

I may just be noticing this, but has anybody else seen the members of the band that plays the Monday Night Football theme song? Let’s break this down…

1 Bassist
1 Drummer
5 Guitarists

Excuse me? Five? Does this strike anybody as superfluous for a 90 second song that plays once a week? Holy Christ! Brian Setzer is playing 2nd backup rhythm guitar?!?

Oh yeah, and this guy is playing bass.